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my dad is a senior software engineer at Google
this is his work laptop


he takes it to company meetings

I’ve been told he has received many compliments

Marry him.

did you read the post


what if i died in like twenty years and all i left my girlfriend was a box and like she gasps and reaches down to her chest where her key necklace hangs that i gave her twenty two years ago, and she uses it to unlock the box and all that is in there is a string which you can pull to reveal an embarrassing photo of spongebob at the christmas party


waking up and realizing you still have more time to sleep


if opposites attract why aren’t i covered in hot people right now

me:  when i die, bury me in Disney movies
me:  but only the good ones
me:  if theres a copy of chicken little in there i swear I will haunt you for the rest of your life